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I haven't kept up with my livejournal for awhile. I apologize to my friends. More explanation in a secure post.

To all others, if I haven't added you, don't take it personally. I've got a lot going on right now and cyberspace is not the place my energy needs to go- not much time for that.

oh yeah, did I mention we had a baby!?

SO out of touch with LJ lately, I realized I hadn't announced Stephen's birth!

Our baby came December 1st at 3:15 pm, born into the water and mama's arms! Two weeks from my date of conception due date, 11 days past the lmp due date. 8.5 lbs, 19" long, Stephen is nursing like a little piglet and winning all our hearts. Our first California baby and first waterbirth.

~I don't think I measured his length correctly because he is 22" now and a little over 9 lb. His head circumference is 95%ile!! So it wasn't just my imagination when he was coming out that it was a freaking big head! Couldn't even find his fontanels for the first two days it was so compressed.

He's over two weeks now and we're doing well, my mother-in-law left town yesterday- she was here for 4 weeks prior to the birth and stayed two weeks after- and so I'm in the midst of readjusting to being the solo adult home 90% of the time and being responsible for all the meals and cleaning and child care. We're broke- seems like we're always broke this time of year and whenever there is a baby- so it's all cooking, no take out. Fortunately that means we're eating better for the most part, though today is my first big grocery and milk run day. Thank goodness for Amazon- it's saving me a lot of Christmas shopping. My parents will be coming to visit right after Christmas too, so it's less than two weeks till there's company again, thank goodness!
(I should start off by saying yes, this is about Rand Paul's interview on the Rachel Maddow show. Also Ron Paul's interview during the primaries on some show I can't remember.)

What would have happened if- during the 60's- the government had kept it's intervention in civil rights to the level of reversing the discriminatory laws and discrimination in government, but not forced private businesses to desegregate?

What would have happened if- the South had been allowed to peacefully secede, as our constitution does not provide for a forced union of the states? Would legal slavery still exist in Virginia? Did any other country have to have an internal war to end legal slavery?

Those questions both provide big challenges to prevailing mainstream thought on the subject. To me, those are not sound bite questions or talk show questions. Those are lecture and debate, read the source material and write a ten page essay questions. What makes people think they could be or should be answered in a sound bite or a talk show interview? The only answer I'm finding is to discredit those who would ask those questions. Because those questions are outside of mainstream thought and touch on the hot button issues of racism and discrimination, and because they have little or no relevance to the legislation and issues an elected official is dealing with today. The ongoing civil rights legislation of today- our ongoing national debate about marriage and homosexuality- unless it connects up there, I really don't see any relevance to any other sorts of legislation that we may be be passing or upholding. But here is a bill to Audit the Federal Reserve, which has 313 cosponsors in the House, and is gutted by the Senate. How's that for relevance!? What kind of Senator do we need, one who is a STAUNCH supporter of the Civil Rights Act and all business as usual, or one who is willing to question the status quo and demand answers to where our liberty and our money is going? Both would be nice, but we evidently aren't being offered everything this year.

The Civil Rights act as it is written and interpreted isn't about to be overturned any time soon. The ADA is not up for debate at this point. This is not what the Senate is meeting about this year. We could talk about the incomprehensible amount of debt and deficit spending that we are currently engaged in as a nation, the continuing rapid erosion of our civil liberties, and the unabated and unchecked growth of the federal government, the expanded powers of the executive branch, or that Congress has given it's responsibility over our currency to bankers, who are completely unaccountable to the voters. We could talk about how 90% of federal legislation exceeds constitutional limits, and why it's important to change that, or we could talk about the collusion of corporations and government, or we could talk about what might have happened if history had gone a different way- alternate reality!! What's more productive? What's on today's political agenda?

I question, what is more important here? Painting a man as a racist because he does not embrace mainstream dogma on the subject, or fixing some of the problems I've listed above?

And have the liberal darling candidates delivered? No. The Patriot Act, telecomm immunity, and Guantanamo are all still up and running. We have that whole incomprehensible amounts of debt being piled over future generations of taxpayers heads thing. And wars are still going on, wars that started 8 years ago. Wars that are founded on lies that were started 8 years ago are still going on- and escalating!!! Have they delivered?

What about the conservatives? They took over congress didn't they, at one point, and sign some big pledge about balanced budgets and making a law? Wasn't Newt Gingrich in charge then? Well they haven't delivered us anything either have they? And it's been how long since that happened again? I don't even remember. What we have gotten is a bunch of Presidential signing statements setting us up for martial law at any time, no official explanation for the collapse of an entire building, (let's just ignore it and maybe everyone will forget it existed,) and millions and trillions of dollars rushing into the "military industrial complex."

Look at the laws that are being made- would you organize ANYTHING in the way laws are written? Would you write a recipe, give it a title that sounds good, say Mom's Apple Pie, and throw three or four completely unrelated recipes in there to boot, along with some addendums for existing recipes, and a grocery list, and then file it all away under that one title? Yet our laws are written like that! Would you write a computer progam like that? Not very functional or elegant code? THen how can we expect government to do anything productive? The liberal and conservative status quo politicians now in power are the ones passing these bullshit yes I will curse, BULLSHIT laws. This is not how laws were supposed to be written. The aren't even reading the laws before they vote on them. There are a multitude of Federal agencies with men (and women) that carry guns and who can take you away, more agencies than I can count on one hand- that exist, simply to enforce, laws that are written like that. This is a big problem, a huge problem, which affects every single one of us, yet it's more important to talk about what might have happened if the Civil Rights act had passed in a different incarnation that didn't include private business? Because if my opinion on the Civil Rights act is different from yours, the rest of my political opinions will be equally poisonous to your way of thinking? Or? What is the justification here?

Big media and dualistic right left thinking will slam any candidate who is outside the liberal/conservative mainstream, because Clinton and Obama, McCain and McConnell will keep the status quo rolling- keep the corporatism flourishing, keep the military industrial complex flush, and keep taking away our rights, bit by bit. How easy would it be for someone like Rand Paul to pull a Mitt Romney and flip flop about his beliefs? Change his mind for the sake of political peace? Thank God, he's not a liar or a waffler, he hasn't sold out to politics- yet. Yes he can weasel, and he did weasel, but given what has happened to his dad in the same situation, I'm understanding where he's coming from. Damned if you do answer and damned if you don't, because you aren't going to convince anyone to take your opinion seriously if it contradicts the modern definition of racism. Sure, he might could use some more education on the realities of life as a minority. I'm sure all us white folks could use some classes on privilege. But we could also all use a break from dogma, and the dogma of racism is really extensive at this point. Yo people, we elected a black man as President, it can no longer be that bad. I have biracial lesbian friends living in a major Southern city and they haven't had a cross burned on their lawn yet! Yes we do have a long way to go, but discussion and study and ideas that differ from the mainstream are not threats to the equality we've gained. And the whole point of the liberal/conservative divide is to divide US and conquer US and look where we are now- people we are close. We are real close to the NWO becoming a reality. And if you don't think that's scary, I don't guess you've read about it much. I must just be a crack pot wingnut and you wouldn't want to read those things because you might get paranoid too. Well it's not paranoia if they really are out to get you, and they are, out to get us, all of us, as their slaves. We are not the elite ruling class, we are not the CEOS and government bigwigs invited to the Bilderberg conference or part of the Tri-lateral commission. We are the ones whose future generations are doomed to be vaccinated, educated, and fed Pepsi and GMO's as we work our tails off in dead end produce nothing of value jobs which we are assigned to based on proficiency tests taken in elementary school. Yeah it sounds bleak but look at where we are NOW.

Politics aside, and painting Rand Paul a racist aside, what do I think about the state of racism in America today? Conservative blacks may advocate for ending affirmative action, but I don't see Alan Keyes or Thomas Sowell getting interviewed on the Rachel Maddow show. Their viewpoints demonstrate to me that racism as it is being taught and preached from the progressive pulpit is a popular political dogma, just like the feminism thrown at us by NOW is political dogma. But it's not the ONLY definition of racism, the ONLY reality. The power of both movements currently comes from enshrining victimization, and while both movements accomplished something historically good while in their infancy, it's time for a change.

How about some hippy dippy thinking, lets all be one blood, one people, male and female, black and white- all the people of the world- the same. What about striving to treat people- all people- with equality. Because YO it's not my fault that my parents and ancestors were mostly white. Or that they weren't Asian. Or that they weren't slaves. I don't want my children discriminated against, and I don't want other people's children discriminated against- how about we stop the discriminating now? When does it end? When do you step outside the victim mentality and say ENOUGH already? When do you stop indoctrinating the children with that mentality!!!? The old generations of the civil rights movement are dying off and the new generations are rising. The ones who elected a black man president.

I'm up for change. I'm up for growth. I'd be happy to wear a "Got White Privilege" t-shirt and learn more about how to talk that talk, but I'm not going to buy into it if it doesn't resonate in my soul. And I can tell you that right now, the message that resonates in my soul, and has since I was a child, is in Sesame Street, in Jim Henson's magic, in "Peoples are peoples." An inclusive color-blindness, not affirmative action. What's it gonna take? When are we gonna make some real change, take back our government, take back our freedom, and let people be people, whether they have nappy hair or use a wheelchair for mobility or worship a God who demands that they cover their heads and not work on Saturday, or kiss people who are the same gender, well who cares!? We all have belly buttons, welcome to the club! People are people.

Imposing fairness does to a certain extent restore order, but it's like a sapling that's been staked- when do you recognize the growth that's occurred and remove the bracing so the tree isn't forced to grow into it? I think it's about time America, that we stopped making race and how we treat race a political issue. Get the wires out of that tree. How about getting the government out of our phone calls, emails and medical records? How about stabilizing our money supply and backing it with something real? How about reconsidering the number of people we incarcerate for victimless crimes? How about all those mostly brown people we are killing every day in third world countries because of fear? Let's make some real changes America. Civil liberties ARE more important in my mind than civil rights, because they don't apply to one select group, they apply to ALL of us. Give me my freedom back.

(This is the ranty part!)
How long ago did Thoreau go to jail for not paying his taxes for a war he didn't believe in, yet how many of us are financially supporting this 8 year war? How many people are driving around with Obama stickers still on their cars- really? You think he's done that good, your approval rating is that high? Or are you afraid of being criticized for racism if you were to express anger or disappointment? Forget about being labeled a racist. What is he doing with his office, is he fixing the problems? No? Then he's just another Bush or Clinton, he's here to take our power and see to it that we don't care. We are to obey, to uphold, to buy our own health insurance, to perpetuate the corporatist fascist reality that is Amerika. We'll do it for free internet and health care for all, we'll do it for safety in the face of terrorist threats (explain to me about that building again please?) and we'll go to war and get rid of all them towel-heads in a preemptive religious jihad. I really cannot take it any more. How can I continue to live with you people. Would you fucking WAKE UP already. It's not about democrat republican libertarian green and it is not about religion. It's about freedom. OUR collective freedom. Their freedom, to run their own countries without our interference, and OUR freedom which is not to be given up for a quibbling thing like safety. I certainly don't feel more safe now than I did in 2001. Get rid of the FBI, the CIA, the NSA, the DEA, and make the Pentagon completely transparent- glass like. That would make me feel safer. Reading my email, forcing me to disclose my political contributions to my next door neighbors, putting in Federal databases, those things don't do much for me.

It's not about fear, it's about freedom. Don't let them scare you, or smear you. Rand Paul is not about to repeal the Civil Rights Act, or unfortunately in my opinion, get rid of the CIA. But he might, he just might get us a yearly audit of the Federal Reserve, stop warrantless wiretapping, and start a discussion about freedom in a branch of government so stagnant and repulsive to me that I can only dream of someone blowing it up. Yep, that's me, I'm a domestic terrorist, dreaming of blowing up my own political body because I don't recognize it as mine. It's evil, sick, dead - what is the point of writing or calling a Senator like Barbara Boxer D-CA or Bob Corker R-TN about any issue whatsoever? Their votes were bought and sold a long time ago. Can we blow them up and start over? Well that's not non-violent behavior so it doesn't fit with my lifestyle and the tools at hand. Too bad I didn't take up demolition at an early age huh? We'll just have to do it one Senator at a time, the hard way, at the ballot box. Let's start with Kentucky. Let's start with Rand Paul.

Calculus Rhapsody


So I've never taken calculus or studied my way up to it. But this is great.

california update part 1

I can't believe we live here. For the next 6 months at least, barring natural disasters, we are walking to the beach. Less than a mile from dolphins in the surf. And, I'm wearing a sweater in August. Yes unbelievable things are all around us! I was so worried about the house being too small, but it feels roomy enough, even with boxes all along the walls. The kitchen and bathrooms are mostly unpacked and organized, but I have yet to open a box of books or toys. We have library cards. I still need local tags and a local driver's license and a local bank account. I know where at least 4 different grocery stores are, and will be checking out our first farmer's market on Wednesday. Kerry, my old roomie from ASFA, drove down with her son Maz today. We made lunch, played Uno with the kids and went to the park. I woke up with quite a wry neck this morning. Need to find a chiropractor soon!

Seán is 8 months. He is still not crawling or sitting up from lying down by himself. He is still launching himself at the floor, then cruising around my legs or holding onto my finger or the cabinets for short distances. He is attempting to stand alone without doing it all himself- sometimes he will let go, but he isn't able to really stand alone like Elisabeth was doing at this age. He has 3 teeth cut through and another about to pop out. He loves strawberries and watermelon, avocado and banana, cooked carrots and cauliflower- anything we let him put in his mouth. He makes some different sounds but I'm not attributing any to words yet. He's getting to have a head of hair, blonde of course. I'm surrounded by blondes, what with he and Peter both losing their brown baby hair and it coming back in blonde.

Anna is just past 2.5 and really taking off developmentally. She's got an upper molar coming in, and her speech is getting to be quite complex, though still without all the consonants we know and love. She follows Peter or Abinadi or Anna or Isaac from dawn to dusk, only touching down for nursing or comfort. Her hair is still quite thin, I'm thinking I should trim it soon though cause it's getting to be long. She's still in two year old things but is starting to stretch out and get that long three year old body. She was brave enough to run to the ocean by herself today, from our dry spot on the beach. I'll have to watch her like a hawk from now on! She wanted to go to to Grandma's church when I suggested church yesterday. (We didn't end up going anywhere, but plan to check out Vintage church next week.)

Peter is 3 months shy of 5. He is shaggy, badly in need of a hair cut, constantly being mistaken for a girl (it's not that long yet, he's just SO pretty!) and still full of puppy energy. He ran back and forth all over the beach, and is still running all over the house now at 8 pm with no nap. He misses John, and Grandma and Grandaddy. He is a little reluctant to sleep by himself on the top bunk- this morning he was bedded down on the floor of my room when I woke up- but happy to claim his own space and own room. We divided things evenly, a boys room and a girl's room- though that in practice means Elisabeth gets her own space.

break- don't know when I'll find time again

Patrick Abinadi is now choosing to go by Patrick or Little Patrick.

bye bye babies bye bye

It's time to find homes for the kittens. They were 8 weeks old yesterday. Placed an ad on Craigslist so we'll be saying good-bye soon. Let me know quickly if you'd like one! I can bring them to the contra dance tonight or the Farmer's Market tomorrow.

A few years ago we kept 3 out a 5 kitten litter, they were all male- named Tom Dick and Harry, they all looked alike- it was so fun to watch them hunt *together* in the backyard. The smart birds went elsewhere and no rodent was safe. Our strange, somewhat socially challenged neighbors took a couple of them without asking us when they were about 6 months old (I think Dick and Harry, they looked so much alike) and we found out what had happened the following year- her daughter had rats and they thought we wanted to get rid of some cats!?. Tom disappeared soon after. That wasn't a good house for indoor/outdoor cats, too close to heavy traffic. I do wish we could keep Iris's family but we just don't have space and food for so many.



why we need to end the drug war
It does not require
a majority to prevail,
but rather an irate,
tireless minority keen
to set brush fires
in people's minds.

~Samuel Adams


Not your average granola

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October 2011


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